Masked

Today I am fine,
Time on my side.
Family not fighting,
Bullies not bothering.
Today I am not here,
I am away.
My mind is in paradise,
While my soul id in eternal sacrifice.
I masked myself,
It's a floral scent,
Over top of a sweaty odor.
My stones are now diamonds.
It all is fake.
The masks I make,
So that I don't fall,
Fall into your hole of deceit.
Hole of hate,
Hole of never ending nothing.
Masked so that you do not see,
What really bothers me.

My Pain

Can't you feel my pain?
The tortured death,
Calmed by the rain.
Won't you live my life?
Cursed in Hell,
All my strike.
Must you deny my beliefs?
Fuck the world,
Or it'll fuck you.
Won't you play my game?
Feed your greed,
And fill your grave.
Can't you feel my pain?
Harsh and cruel,
Long and inevitable.

Greedy Graves

Down the street lie the bodies,
Hundreds of them, dead and rotting.
Carved in stone, each their name,
Buried in wood, six feet below.
Their ghosts still parade though,
But with no escape from the cemetery.
Everyday another one is added,
The graves dug so far down.
Each hole awaiting its feeding,
Hoping for another death.
No one can escape from it,
We're all going there... dead.
And the cemetery knows it.
It's like the devil of bodies.
It owns you when you die,
Putting you into one of its greedy graves.

The Last Drink

Emotional pain,
Controlling again.
Hit with a cane,
Nothing to gain.
Overcome your fear,
Pop open a beer.
Watch the deer,
Can't shift gear.
Crushing metal,
Foot to the pedal.
No hero medal,
Dried rose petal.
Bloodstained seat,
Can feel the heat.
Smell defeat.
Feel your heart,
Won't it start?
Eyes just dart,
No left cart.
One black hole,
Life lost whole.
Gravestone pole,
Paid the tole.

Possessions

Look at this world,
Tell me what you see.
Don't tell me purple flowers,
Or green trees.
Don't tell me all of the beautiful,
Don't tell me good.
I don't want to know,
What I can't have.

Tortured Genius

When day light falls into the dark,
And death creeps from behind its perch,
When paths of green grow brown with decay,
And lives full of love fall into hate.
When days of fury grow red with pain,
And things run away from that which they are scared,
When night brings fears of boogie men,
And creatures of night.
When the fear we fear is the fear of all fears,
The fear of death,
The fear of devastation,
The fear of nevermore,
The fear of ending.

You

When you look into my eyes,
What do you see?
When you hold my hand,
What do you feel?
When I kiss your lips,
What do you taste?
When I say, "I love you,"
What do yo think?
When I'm gone,
Do you miss me?

You're Gone

I was mislead,
Fucked up in the head.
I thought you were mine,
You were so fine.
But I was wrong,
Turns out you were long gone.

So I wait for the day,
When I get to say,
That you're mine.
But I find myself,
Buried under a shelf.
I fear the worst will come,
Our relationships done.

The shelf that holds me down,
Holds pound by pound,
All of my troubles on it.
All of the shit,
That has fucked me up.
It keeps me buried,
Always hurried,
To get out of the way,
Of what my voices say.

So I wait for the day,
When I get to say,
That you're mine.
But I find myself,
Buried under a shelf.
The worst will come,
Our relationship's done.

I feel so close to death,
Since the day you left.
I've been stuck in a hole,
Marked by a pole.
A pole with a sign,
Etched with a line.

So I wait for the day,
When I get to say,
That you're mine.
Bit I find myself,
Buried under a shelf.
The worst has come,
Our relationship done.
And you're gone!
You're gone!
You're ... gone.

No One Cares, No One Cares

Soul, she's lost her soul.
She's lost her friends,
Lost her family.
They've all gone away,
Left her here alone.
For so damn long,
She struggles,
Alone, all alone.
No one to help her out,
No advice could be given.
By herself, she cried at night,
By herself, she cut her wrist at night.
By herself, she bleeds to sleep.
Morning comes, she is awake.
Her bloodied wrist hard and caked.
All alone she changes the sheets,
All alone she stands and weeps.
All alone, all alone.
No one calls the telephone,
No one home, no one home.
No one rings or knocks at the door.
No one there, no one there.
She lights a smoke,
All alone, all alone.
"Why does no one care?
Why don't they care?
Who would dare?
Who gives a fuck?
I know, not me!
I'm such a freak,
And no one cares!
Well, fuck them all,
No one cares!
I'll kill myself,
Cause no one cares.
Buy a gun cause no one cares.
No one cares cause no on cares."

Hope's Still Waiting

It's dark outside,
But the sun is rising.
The grass is brown,
But springtime's coming.
It's cold right now,
But it's almost noon.
The world's asleep,
But it's still early.
It's foggy out,
But it's still fading.
Your life's so hard,
But hope's still waiting.
This poem's over,
But I'll keep writing.

Dead End Road

Every day I watch you cross that street,
You make the same moves day after day.
To where you're walking, I don't know.
The street you travel is a dead end road,
But you continue to walk that ending road,
As if it's a place to go.
One day I will ask of you,
"Where is it that you go my friend?"
And you will answer,
"I go to wonder how it ends,
When there's so many places it can lead."
And from then on I will know,
That none of my paths are dead end roads.

What a Life

What a feeling it is to live,
And never worry about how to give.
What a wonder to be loved,
And never return your heart.
What a delight it is to breath,
And never care if you save the trees.
What a great statement you make,
And yet you say nothing at all.
What a sight it is to see your face,
And quickly turn to see no more.
What a wonderful song you write,
And teach us your unknowing thoughts.
What a better place this would be,
And to live, if your mind knew what really is.

Of Those Who Torture

Why do I have no mind?
(You do have a mind you just have to find!)
Why do I have no heart?
(You do have a heart from which you'll never part!)
Then why do I feel the way I do?
(Because they force you!)
They who?
(You know who!)
The monsters I call my peers?
(The ones whose words are always near!)
Then how do I ignore them?
(You already know how!)
But what do I do?
(You do what's best for you!)

Dead Inside

Why is it that you do not see me?
I try so hard to get your attention.
Why is it that you ignore me so?
I tried so hard to be good to you.
Why is it that you take no notice of me?
I try so hard...
Wait...
Could the reason be?
Have I been ignoring myself?
Is it that the truth is I am dead?
That is it.
The answer I search for.
The answer is that I'm dead.
Dead inside.

Fogged Up

My heart dies,
Old man cries.
Life I hate,
But feelings great.
Vicious souls,
Burning holes.
My eyes shut,
Safety hut.

Ignore this pain that I feel,
I can't stand, this ain't real.
World of hate, go away,
Man this sucks, here stay.

I can't see with the pain inside of me.
I can't breath with the lungs that aren't free.
I can't think with brain lost at sea.
I can't see with the pain inside of me.

What you think,
The lost link.
I'm brain dead,
In the head.
Carry through,
Onto you.
child worn,
A still-born.

Your Chosen Path

Die you cup,
It's set in stone.
Your time is up,
You're not your own.
From the wrath,
The end is near.
Your chosen path,
Has brought you here.
Don't pray to God,
Hope for the worse.
Deaths powerful rods,
Don't you see the hoarse?

Smoke Flurries

Whisper what you feel you know,
No more will they understand,
What goes on when you're alone.
Cry your shallow dreams away,
You have no more use for them.
They've dried out your heart.

Cool to the touch,
Feel that blue jazz.
Enjoy nothing that comes to mind,
Only what they've got.

You can tell us of life and love,
But your love has no passion,
And your life lacks of love.
Feel the presence of it,
Of the empty soul bursts.
Notice the fire burn out again.

Forecasts

Pouring rain on the forecast again,
Thunder, lightning, and hard winds.
Tornado warning to the east,
Tearing up all there is.
Earthquake to the west,
Breaking up the fragile buildings.
Tsunami from the south,
To wash away the shore.
And tears from my aching heart,
That can take no more.

The forecast stays the same inside my brain,
For many years it's gone unshattered.
Everyday my heart's been battered,
Each week nothing else mattered.
But one day the forecast will read,
"Bright and sunny, no rain, no tears,
Clear of any unwanted fears."
And on that day when I wake up,
I will remember those years
Of cloudy thoughts.

Pouring rain on the forecast again,
Thunder, lightning, and hard winds.
Tornado warning to the east,
Threatening all that is.
Earthquake to the west,
Bringing down the abandoned buildings.
Tsunami coming from the south,
To wash away the sandy shore.
And tears from my dried up eyes,
That just can't cry for me anymore.

Your Eyes

If you look you won't always see,
What you think is right in front of you,
Is so clearly invisible to your eyes.
You don't see that life is not death,
Life is not gloom, or misery,
Life is not what your believe it to be.
It is not waste or unfair,
It is not worthless or without care.
Your eyes see not what truly is,
They see not the beauty of all.
They see not,
For your eyes have been blinded.

Fear No More

The sky is filled with Evermore,
Hot dust of fighting,
Cold with eerie passing.
Wind warming your soul,
Bringing on the wet rain,
Flowing through the air.
This here is that where,
Speak no more breaths,
It is time for listening.

Calm you mind,
Ease your eyes,
Feel no more,
Just the peace from within.

Land is covered with it all,
Mustn't see anymore.
You ears shall open, eyes shut.
Can't see what you hear.
Old with stench,
New with ending.
Everlasting dare is in you.
We know you feel it,
No passion can be masked.

Calm your mind,
Ease your eyes,
Feel no more,
Just the love of it all.

Song drags on more for you,
The end so far now.
Hear the smoke rising,
Smell the ongoing fire,
See the cracking surface.
Only that which is,
Never really happens.
Carry on small one,
Evermore has gone form here.

Calm your mind,
Ease your eyes,
Feel no more,
Just escape the air.

Last Flight

There comes a time in everyones life,
When you just can't fight anymore.
When even though it's day outside,
Your world is always dark and cold.
And every day and week that pass,
Is just a day closer to death.
And every breath that you take,
Is getting harder and harder to swallow.

You just can't take anymore,
Your limbs are getting.

Each day you're thinking more and mroe,
Of hoe and when you're gonna die.
And all of those pills you take,
Just can't save your life no more.
Your family has left you here,
All alone and crying every night.
All that you have left is a
Plot at the local cemetery.

Your face is getting cold,
Your body's too damn old.

Wrong Roads

Driving fast,
Almost crashed.
Won't slow down,
Can only drown.
I'll never last,
Life is the past.
Alway frown,
Tarnished crown.

My life's growing so quick,
Don't have time to smoke a cig.
Everything that I know is no longer what it was..
Friendships that were so close are now far apart.
People that I use to know are totally different now.
I can't believe anything that they say.
I don't even know myself anymore.
I've been reborn into something weird.
I just wish I had the map of life,
To show me what roads to take!

Driving fast,
About to crash.
Won't slow down,
I'll soon drown.
I'll never last,
Life is the past.
Always frown.
Tarnished crown.

Took a left down the wrong street again.
Now I'm lost, can't find my way back home.
All I see are strange faces, unknown places.
Everything is so wrong.
Anything that I think is right,
Turns out to be untrue.
Nothing I can do to bring me back,
To what I thought I knew.
I'm on the wrong road,
Loosing myself at every step.

Driving fast,
Already crashed.
Won't stop now,
I'm leaving, how?
I'll never last,
Life is the past.
Always frowned,
Tarnished crown.

Yesterday

Her father beat her every night,
Momma didn't care.
Her uncle raper her every time,
She went over there.
Her aunt yelled at her for every thing,
Cousins beat her up.
Even her own brother,
Didn't give a fuck.

She hated this world,
So she threw her life away.
With the knife that she twirled,
She went away.
She lived her life in pain,
That's why she wouldn't stay.
She had nothing to gain,
Yesterday.

Even at school he was ignored,
They all hated her.
Everyone picked on her,
When they got bored.
Overweight and too uncool,
No one liked her much.
Not even the principal,
Tried to show he cared.

She hated this world,
So she threw her life away.
With the knife she twirled,
She went away.
She lived her life in pain,
That's why she wouldn't stay.
She had nothing to gain,
Yesterday.

So one day she told everyone,
They could go to hell.
She wanted to be gone,
Thought it'd all be well.
So she took a steak knife from a drawer,
And put it to her wrist.
Her life was no more,
With that final twist.

She hated this world,
So she threw her life away.
With the knife that she twirled,
She went away.
She lived her life in pain,
That's why she wouldn't stay.
She had nothing to gain,
Yesterday.

She hated this world,
So she threw her life away.
With the knife that she twirled,
She went away.
She lived her life in pain,
That's why she wouldn't stay.
She had nothing to gain,
Yesterday.

Her father beat her every night,
Momma didn't care.
Her uncle raper her every time,
She went over there.
Her aunt yelled at her for everything,
Cousins beat her up.
Even her own brother,
Didn't give a fuck.

Fly Like the Birds

Girl I know that your life is rough,
But you gotta try to stay tough.
Look at all the goods things that you've got,
Even though there may not be a lot.
I will always be here for you, to
Support all the things that I'll do.

All I can say,
Is all I can do.
All that I know,
Is I love you.
Please hold on,
To these words.
You will go on,
Fly like the birds.

What has happened that made you hate this world?
What could have made your anger unfurled?
What did they do to hurt you so?
That made you wanna leave, just go?
I wish you would stay here with me,
Ad you would never have to flee.

All I can say,
Is all I can do.
All that I know,
Is I love you.
Please hold on,
To these words.
You will go on,
Fly like the birds.

Please don't leave me by myself,
It'll make me feel like I'm living in hell.
I need you right here by my side,
And to all your wishes I will abide.
If I lose you I will die,
And all I'll do forever is cry.

All I can say,
Is all I can do.
All that I know,
Is I love you.
Please hold on,
To these words.
You will go on,
Fly like the birds.

Please hold on,
To these words.
You will go on,
Fly like the birds.

Because of You

My life's falling apart,
I just can't take anymore.
Love me with your heart,
And not a closed door.
I'm sucked into a black hole,
Can't find a way out.
I have only one goal,
To be rid of my doubt.
If I could just end it all,
Then it would be great.
Or if I could put up a wall,
That'll block me from your hate.
My world's full of pain,
All because of your foolish games.
What have I to gain,
When all you call me are names?
Leaving a stain on my heart, permanent,
You pound on me night and day.
Acting like you're so damn dominant,
You've turned my life so gray.
So gray, my colour starting to fade,
Feels like my heart is thrown away.
If only I had a single blade,
I could end it all today.
Just one blade and you'll be rid of me,
Just one blade and I'm gone forever.
Myself you'll never have to see,
And, for you, I'll breathe never.
Am I as big a problem as you make me?
Am I that bad?
How can it be,
That you can make me so sad?
Because of you, I hang my head.
Because of you, I can't heal my wound.
Because of you, I wish I was dead.
Because of you, I welcome my tomb.

Light Bulbs

Click click,
Like a switch,
I turn it off.
The light of my life,
Has been unplugged.
My rooms are dark,
Can't see my hand.
Everything is gone,
Far from view.

After all you've put me through,
Nothing in my life is new.
I can't stand that mirror in the hall,
Lined up on the wall.
I just can't stand any more,
Anymore of your shit, of your hate,
Your dying will to hurt me.
So, I flick the switch,
To my light bulb,
And say good-bye,
My final wish.

See Me

What do you see?
When you look at me?
Do you see me?
Do you see what you believe?
Do you see what is real?
What do you see?
Do you see the truth?
Do you see the real me?
Do you see?
Did you ever see?
See me?
Will you ever see me?
Do you even look at me?

Why?

Why is life,
Such a nightmare?
A cutting knife,
Running through my hair?
Why can't I,
Get past the pain?
Past each sigh,
Over the pouring rain?
Why do you,
Hate me so?
Make me blue,
Want me to go?
What has to be done,
To make me happy again?
To make life fun,
To make this joyful pen?
How can I fix,
My messed up life?
And broken sticks,
And hateful strife?

Silence

Inside the silence tortures me,
For there isn't any.
The silence is loud.
It comes as a crowd.
It beats in my ear,
And is always near.

Outside the silence soothes me,
But there isn't any.
It isn't silence,
But noise in quiet violence.
The cars, the birds, the wind,
I just can't win.

But one isn't like the other.
Outside is a soothing mother.
Inside the silence tortures me,
Outside the silence soothes me.

Dear Loneliness,

You stand there and watch,
As I tear myself apart.
You stand there and laugh,
As I rip my insides out.
You stand there and scream,
As I cry myself to sleep.
You stand there and grin,
As I put myself down.
You stand there and smile,
As I call myself names.
But worst of all,
Is that you're not even there at all.
My Loneliness.

A Clear Cloudy Day

Sun shining,
Rain a'falling,
No rainbows in sight.
Falling trees,
On my knees,
Can't take no more.
Another day,
Lost away,
Life always surprises me.
From a dark cave,
Put our love in a grave,
What more can I say?
I'm left alone,
No one home,
No one to save me from me.
Knife at my wrist,
Give it a little twist,
Boy, am I pissed.
final good byes,
Writing them down,
As I start to cry.

Rain starts falling,
Thinking about what I lost.
Drifting away,
Nothings okay.
The room goes black.
I woke up late,
To find my fate;
I'm still alive,
Still breathing.
I look outside,
It's a sunny day,
But for me it's pouring down rain.
The raining of my tears,
Falling away.
Slipping down my cheeks,
Dropping off my chin,
Puddles in my pillow.
I just can't wait to go,
End this torturous life.

Insomnia

Late of night,
No sleep tonight.
Burning eyes,
Dreadful skies.
Take a shower,
Get a little power.
Write a book,
Take a look.
Play the guitar,
We're not getting far.
Fearful skies,
Burning eyes.
No sleep tonight,
Late of night.

No Longer

What's wrong?
I can see it in your face
So long.
What's upsetting you?
Won't you give me a clue?
I know that something is wrong.
Please, don't lie to me.
Don't hold it in,
It'll eat at you.
Don't destroy your heart,
It's all you got.
Your heart is all that's left.
You've lost your friends,
Your family, too.
But worst of all,
You've lost you.
Find yourself again,
You can make it through.
But you can't because
You say you're through.
It's all over,
And all is done.
What was begun,
Is no longer.

I'm Singing Your Song

You're calling out,
Causing fuss,
What's the matter,
Why you mut.
Screaming loud,
In the crowd,
You're yelling hard,
But no one hears.

Why do I get ignored?
Why am I so bored?
Why do you shove me off?
Why do you hate me?
Why do you hate me?

You turn it up,
You're burning up.
Asking for,
Someones help.
"Some one please,
Rescue me."
You're screaming hard,
But no one hears.

Why do I get ignored?
Why am I so bored?
Why do you shove me off?
Why do you hate me?
Why do you hate me?

So, now it's time I show you,
Where to be.
How to get past the life you see.
Don't go to bed,
You'll wind up dead,
With all those thought in your head.

Why do you think it's over?
Why do you see the end?
Why do you think there's only one way out?
Why don't you see?
Why don't you see?

If There Was a Way

If there was a way,
To live every day.
If there was a way,
For me to say.
If there was a way,
For things to be okay.
If there was a way...

Today is the day,
Live it your way.

By the Way

We talk each night,
By the way,
We hold each other tight,
By the way,
We show our loving might,
By the way,
We give out caring bite,
By the way,
We open way for sweet light,
By the way,
What I'm trying to say.
I love you more every night,
By the way,
My love holds you tight,
By the way,
I love you with all my might,
By the way,
My love shines on you light,
By the way,
I can't think of how to say,
I love you so.

Today

Today today,
So far away.
Afraid afraid,
To even say.
Hopeful hopeless,
Of the right way.
Faithful faithful,
To each day.
Denying denial,
You know the way.
Living death,
Beginning breath.
Today today,
So close today.

Throwing Your Life Away

Day after day,
You throw your life away.
No matter what I say,
You do it your way.
You throw your life away.
Never coming back another day.
Now you've gone away,
And all I've left to say,
Is, "Why did you throw away,
What could've been saved another way?"
Till I see you again to say,
"In my heart, forever you stay,"
See once more in May,
Buried by the bay,
By the tomb that you lay,
Just to say, "Hey,"
And to pay,
Eternally, everyday,
Because you threw your life away.

Keep

Keep walking,
I don't need your help,
I'll survive.
Keep talking,
Doesn't bother me.
Keep pointing.
I'm poiting right back,
Straight at you.
Keep walking,
I only need your help,
Why don't you help me?

Tormented Soul

You were my everything.
I rose in the morning for you.
I spent hours on end,
Just thinking of you.
One day things turned up-side down,
And now I'm left by myelf.
You're so far away now,
I don't think I can find you anymore.

You were so important,
To me.
If you could only see,
What you mean to me.
But one day things turned to shit,
Now here I sit,
All by myself,
Thinking of you.

Forever I am tormented,
You were so important,
But now I've lost you,
Never to find you again.
The torment of love,
Thrown out the window.

This is my tormented soul.

The Love of the Entwined

The love of the entwined is forever on the mind,
For the knowing others point and laugh,
And fins the feelings I have funny.
Why do they feel that way?
Is it the wait I treat them?
No, it can't be for I treat them with care.
Is it the way I act?
No, for I only act as I am told.
Is it the way I feel?
Yes... I think.
Do I feel the wrong way for something I love so much?
Do I not know what it is that I feel?
No, no... I know.
It is they that don't know.
The love of the entwined in forever on the mind.

Lying to You

Hate me,
I don't mind it.
The thing is,
You mean nothing to me.
Scream at me,
Maybe it makes you feel better.
It doesn't phase me.
Hit me,
Cock your fist back,
Punch my face hard,
See how much damage you can do.
What do I care?
Call me names,
I'm anything you say I am.
I won't argue it.
Spit at me,
Every time I walk near.
Don't let me lie to you.
Don't believe me.
Hate me,
I do mind it.

The Wall

A little girl,
Bewildered by the world.
Crawling from the corner,
The corner where she was raped,
Forced to do what she doesn't understand.
A victim on the Wall.

A young boy, Casted out by his peers,
Looks through salty tears,
As he's beaten by older kids,
Left hurting by older kids,
Left hurting with bruises and broken bones,
Unsure why he doesn't fit in.
Another victim on the Wall.

A teenager,
Overweight for her age,
Isolated out from others,
Who stare and laugh and joke behind her back,
Friendless, she cries alone at night,
Wondering why no one can accept her for what's inside.
Another victim on the Wall.

A teen boy,
Depressed by the beatings from his father,
A man with strength and anger,
The boys eyes always blackened,
His body bruised,
His teacher wonders but she never says a word.
Another victim added to the Wall.

A skinny girl,
Forcing herself to throw up,
Balemic for hope of perfection.
She eats very little, but never keeps it in.
Acid burning her throat and mouth,
Creating holes in her through,
And dacying her teeth.
Yet another victim to the Wall.

A school boy,
Diagnosed with A.D.D.,
Attempts to answer a question,
His speech is slurred,
And his answer's wrong,
He tries to ignore,
As they mock him and laugh.
Another victim on the Wall.

A wall,
Etched with millions of names,
Names of people who have suffered from the dark hate of the world.
Flowers left behind,
In memory of those tortured souls,
And when you read the Wall,
There is always one name that stands out most:
It is your own name.
A victim on the Wall.